literature

Forgotten Soul

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justlittlemusings's avatar
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Literature Text

She dreamt she was travelling the world, visiting landmarks, an experience she'd always thought exclusive to those with weighted pockets. The great American presidents were watching her with wisdom eyes, and she dreamt their stony expressions curved smiles that glinted, and their crinkled eyes winked to her in secrets.

        In the sky above, the clouds weren't lined with silver, but sewn together with gold thread, taut to tearing.

She dreamt she was flying, with fingers entwined in downy white swan feathers.  Dark shadows floated on the hills, the violet turrets of a fairy castle. Her breath was mist encircling the great stone walls, and her tears filled the trenches with broken promises.

        She locked her hopes behind the castle walls.

She dreamt of red-topped mountains, jagged peaks, and a stairway carved from rock, leading upwards in stepping-stone leaps of faith. She dreamt of uncertain paths falling away beneath her feet, and of a hawk circling overhead, plunging downwards with her fears among his feathers.

        The darkness was an abyss into which she threw her childhood.

She dreamt she was falling, falling from the grasp of greedy hands and hotel rooms by the hour. Broken rail-tracks marked her naked skin, and the thud of footsteps near her ringing ears faded into nothing.

        She woke, with stardust on her eyelids and a poppy in her tangled hair.
My entry for the #transliterations Musical Maps Contest

I used 'Forbidden Colours' by Ryuichi Sakamoto which can be found here: [link]

I made the map from the music and wrote the piece based on the map without listening to the music whilst writing. My map is colourful and very weird. It can be found HERE
© 2011 - 2024 justlittlemusings
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xblackxbloodxcellx's avatar
This is beautiful!

My first impression from yesterday stays the same: I like how each "normal"-written paragraph starts with those same words "She dreamt". It makes the story more poetical, at least in my opinion.

Those verses written in cursive seem to be some kind of wishes, or enchantments told/sang by a different person. They are very lyrical too, which again makes the whole text very close to poetry. I'm not a specialist in literature, but I find that between some forms of prose and poetry, there's barely any difference. That's what I feel reading your story. (:

I've listened to the piece of music that you were inspired by (or maybe which you tried depicting in words? I don't know...) and I find some similarities between the music and your text. They're both rather calm, gentle, lyrical, and yet there comes a moment (in the song it's about 2:58 and in your story... "She woke...") of stronger emotion.

The map you drew is pretty interesting to see while listening to the track and just after reading your story. :)

Oh, I also tried reading it out loud while the music was playing in the background and I really liked the effect. I don't know if you've done that before, but if not, you certainly should - it opens a different perspective of regarding the text you wrote and its connotation with music.

After all, it's a lovely piece! Keep up the creativity! ^^